Tim Smith's Fort Lauderdale

     When your wife rattles you out of a deep sleep on a Sunday morning at 5 a.m., saying “quick honey, get up”, you know it can’t be good.

     ” there’s a totally naked guy on the front porch and he’s trying to get in the house!”

     I jump up and move to the living room for a look. The wife hasn’t lost it. Sure enough, he’s there, in all his splendid, nutty glory!

     He’s a big guy ( tall that is), and he’s trying the doorknob, and it’s getting scary.

     I tell the wife to get the phone, call 911, but first hand me the Louisville slugger, just in case.

                                                                   
                                                                        the slugger

     The guys in some sort of heavy drug craze. I tell him through the door to get lost, tell him I have a pistol with his name on it, but it doesn’t faze him. 

     He pulls a chair out that’s on the porch and sits. He’s looking in through the picture window and mumbling to himself.  We watch the clock and wait for the Cops.

     About 8 minutes pass and they arrive, three officers. They shine their flashlights on the guy and ask him what the #$%* he’s doing. He doesn’t respond, just looks at them and smiles.

     Finally they move in, after putting on gloves,  and remove him from his perch. They move him out to the Police car and come back to tell us what they’re going to do.

     ” Here’s really screwed up on something”, (he tells us as if we didn’t know!) We’ve called Fire, they’ll take it from here.

                                    
                                          EMS  ……….   with crazed naked guy inside

     Sun’s up now, Cindy’s going on a jog, the naked druggie is on his way to the fifth floor of Broward General,

                                                  I’m going back to bed………….

     It’s taken 5 years to make it happen. But it looks like it might well have been worth it.
                               

                                      

     They are way cool! 

     Big, heavy, impressionistic sculptures, fashioned out of a granite-like boulder, with hand tools, by african artist Raymond Chirambadare, sitting on a stool in Zimbabwe. They were brought to the United States by African importer Ross Parker of Call of Africa Imports. 

     Ross wanted to make a big contribution to the struggling street he moved his warehouse and picture framing gallery to on NE 13th Street, right by the Railroad tracks.

     But just try and imagine getting approval to place $100,000 worth of Zimbabwean granite sculptures in the middle of a busy highway in Fort Lauderdale. 

     First, the attorneys.

     They worry…..  for a living!   …. 2 years

     And then there’s the engineers !

     Yes, they looked at it six ways from Sunday !   ….. 2 years

     Let’s not forget the politicians !

     Let’s just call it differences of opinions   ….. 1 year

      Talks with the lawyers …..  endless meetings with engineers …..  public hearings out the wazoo!
 
      Finally we were almost there. And then, at the last minute, City Hall advised that we would have to orient the sculptures sideways! No facing of traffic ! Slim side showing !

                                    

                                   We were all out of fight! We capitulated and turned them sideways.  

                                                              But we got the last word…….

                                            We have the sculptures’ rears facing City Hall !

               

     Fort Lauderdale’s City Manager George Gretsas sailed through his interview with the Scottsdale, Arizona City Council on Friday for the Manger’s job there with little fanfare. Gretsas was joined in the interview with the other two finalists for the job, Clearfield City, Utah Manager Chris Hillman and Scottsdale’s Acting Manager David Richert. Many believe Acting Manager Richert is favored for the post.
A decision is expected early next week.

     The interview with Gretsas had only minor problems – mostly, the pronunciation of Gretsas’s name! The first Councilman addressed him as Mr. Gretis, and another referred to him as Mr. Jetsas! Gretsas did not correct either Councilman.

             Here are some highlights from the interview:

…….  Gretsas on his tenure in Fort Lauderdale  – “through smart management” is how Gretsas described how he turned the City’s financial problems around after he arrived in Fort Lauderdale six years ago.. He pointed to the 73 million in built up reserves, a reduced tax rate, a strong bond rating, and a lower crime rate during his stint as Fort Lauderdale Manager ( Gretsas didn’t mention the explosion of property values that flooded the City coffers with 100’s of millions in new revenue during those years !)

……   Gretsas on City improvements on his watch – we built ” a lot of Fire stations”, implemented a 450 million dollar project to improve the City’s water –  wastewater system, and have new luxury hotels coming up on the beach  -” our five star approach” he added. 

…….  Gretsas on his difficulties in Fort Lauderdale – There was some pushback, he conceded. He said “blowback and scar tissue” was just a by product of the job. He said if the controversy is “directed at me instead of my bosses, I’ve done my job”. He said his major problem in Fort Lauderdale was centered around him being ” a lightening rod” during Police Union negotiations. He added that he was ” not afraid to carry out the mission of my bosses”.

……. Gretsas (reported in Arizona paper)  on his current standing in Fort Lauderdale – “I’m still in negotiations with the Mayor [Seiler]  .

                                        ….. in light of the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico

               ….. Question for Sarah   …..   

    Drill Baby Drill …..  Still ?

                          
                                                            ” just kidding!”   

                
               

                               …………  I’m hungry !       ……………..  

                                            

  …. OMG

     This is the Las Olas Riverfront on a Saturday afternoon …. where the hell is everyone ?

     ……. let me go check, am I in the right place?

                                           

                 …….   yup, it’s the Riverfront alright, guess I’ll just go on in and have a pleasant lunch    ……… maybe Max’s !! ….

                                        
               
              …… nope, nobody’s eating any lunch here !!  ….  I’ll go upstairs to Hooters for some wings….yum !!

                                    

                                 guess I’ll take the stairs  ………………………..

                                                  

                                 ….. well crappo …. no wings either   ….Ok, I’ll get a tall sudsy one and think this over!

                        
                                        

                        …. I think I’m getting the picture now ! …  think I’ll go down and get a picture of the famous “birdman” of Riverfront …..  he’s gotta still be there!

                                     

                                ” give me five dollars for picture”   …….

                   ……   I think I’ll go to the Ale House on Federal ………….sheesh!

     Last night, at City Hall in Fort Lauderdale!

       A town hall meeting with Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz

                                    
                                          Congresswoman Wasserman Schultz

     Inside the Commission Chambers, the capacity crowd was relatively mannered !

                              

     Outside, not so much! ……………………

                                
                               screamed “You Lie” each time the Chambers doors opened

                               
                                           a new version of the Obama as joker sign

                                
                                            Wasserman Schultz – the Russkie!

                                 
                                                       sign carying capacity?

                                  

                                                     democracy – in action !

     Everybody’s got something to hide but me and my monkey!

     Now there’s a cryptic clue for you of what I did Yesterday !

     Hello ? Goodbye ! …….. figure it out yet?

     Alright – here’s a pictorial clue :

                              

     Yes, I went to a concert ……. it was at the former Dolphin Stadium, former Joe Robbi Stadium, currently the Sun Life Stadium….. So who was playing? Now don’t let me down ! Come on, please, please me !

     Some of you got it, some don’t, ( I do have some pre – 30’s readers!)

                               

   
     The day in my life started out as quite a good morning, good morning. I decided that this boy had a ticket to ride. How did I get there? Drive my car, silly!

                                   

     The concert was really rockin. The crowd was moving. The wife’s out of town, so I was alone, and I turned around and I saw her standing there !

                                     

     OK, so she was sitting – this can’t all work our perfectly! ……. anyhow, I told her to just let it be, I said I’m happy just to dance with you, and we were up in the aisles boogieing!

     The concert was truly an inspiration. Three and a half hours of great music. I just hope I can perform like that when I’m 64 !

    ……….. He’s still an idealist !

                            

           ……..  and a workhorse ! …. three encores !….  he tried to ignore our chants for more….

                             

      It was exhausting, for him and us, but in a good way. 
    
      You know, life can be a long and winding road.  So from me to you, if you ever have a chance to see him, do it, it’s quite worth it. 
   
      It gave me Golden Slumbers…..

                            …… the end

     

     
     

    

     National Politics came to Fort Lauderdale’s Victoria Park neighborhood this afternoon, with the first local gathering of the new movement ….

            ………  the Coffee Party        

     The Coffee Party is a political response to the rather new, but very well known national movement, the Tea Party. This afternoon, a diverse group of citizens gathered at the Brew Coffee Shop in the Winn-Dixie shopping plaza on Federal Highway at NE 6th Street to get acquainted and plot! They quickly out-grew the coffee shop and moved out onto the sidewalk.

     The well mannered group, about three dozen strong, included mostly white, though some black, mostly middle-aged, but some older, and a tiny smathering of young blood!

                                   

     The make-up included war vets ( two Korean and one Viet Nam), old hippies (still in the fight), and the one man that singularly faces off the giant group of Tea Partiers at the intersection of Oakland Park and Federal many weekends ( he got a big round of applause). 

     There was some talk of boycotts, ( tea mostly!) and a big showing of frustration at the condition of the national dialogue.

     Here are a few of the comments from the attendees:
               
     ………….. ” I’m a sadist, I watch Fox TV”

     …………..  ” they’ve taken control of the American flag”

     ………….   ” I came to have a civil discussion”

     ………….    ” the dirty things they do in the name of religion”
   
     ………….    ” I’m scared of the people on the other side”

     ………….    ” my wife says I love pain – I watch Oreily!”

    ………….      ” they’re out – shouting us“

         
      The meeting lasted just short of an hour, and no immediate plans for the future were decided. The event’s organizer, Evan Rowe ( evanrowe@gmail.com ) , told the attendees to make sure to sign-in and he’d be in touch.

     I’ll keep you posted ……..  Tim
    

     Fort Lauderdale Beach is a special place! ….. Known the world over!

            


     And if you’ve been to the beach in the last few years, there are some things you know.

     You know the wave wall, you know the  five-star resorts, you know the giant dactilifera palms  ……and you know ………


                                            
                             CALVIN

     Calvin has become one of the beaches self- made attractions. Seems everyone has a Calvin story. People say he can cause a lot of trouble. I decided to go down the beach to see what makes Calvin tick.
    
     First, we all suspect that Calvin is homeless, though he wouldn’t confirm that. You’ll usually find him lounging on the wave wall, somewhere across from the Elbo Room. What I do know for sure is that he’s a giant man with a giant grin and a giant tale to tell as long as you’ll listen.

      Here’s how my interview with Calvin went:
                                   
                                ………………………………………………………………….. 

     Tim: Hey Calvin, would you talk to me for a few minutes ( I handed Calvin a couple of bucks)

     Calvin: not for that I won’t, how about fifty bucks.

     Tim: can’t do that Calvin, what else will seal the deal?

     Calvin: low cut army boots, size fourteen …… WIDE  ( he says to punctuate) ..  and no new ones, I want them already broke in.

      Tim: deal, ….now tell me about yourself 

      Clavin : Calvin Williams, Marine, 53 years old, live right here on the beach, never going anywhere. I own the Fort Lauderdale Beach Hotel, right there, and I love Brittany Spears and Lady Gaga! 

      Tim: Are you doin’ alright …. health OK? …gettin’ plenty to eat?

      Calvin: health is great, love my York Peppermint Patties and Hooter’s Fried Chicken

      Tim: Can I take a couple of pictures?   Calvin gives me one of his goofiest looks.


                                  

     Calvin: how’s that? ( I tell him he cracks me up!) 

     [ According to a retired Police Sergeant that worked the beach area a few years back, Calvin is fine as long as he’s “on his meds”. The Sergeant recalled a sand beach brawl a few of his colleagues had with Calvin a few years back. 

     “Calvin was off his meds and getting abusive to the tourists. Two Officers tried to take him off the sand, but got caught under his giant frame ( the seargent is laughing wildly at this point). From then on, we’d get him off the beach if we had to, but by bribing him with his favorite – Mcmuffins!”] 

     Tim: Calvin, you’re quite a cut-up, anything else you’d like to add?

     Calvin: yea, tell everybody I’m a beach boy, a beach bum, and a walrus ( he erupts in laughter !)

     Tim: OK buddy, hope everything works out for you – (  I say as I head off)

     Calvin: don’t forget my boots, ( he yells after me)
                                         ……………………………………………………………………
     ……… Calvin seems in his own world, but appears to like it there. I hope he’s OK, hope he stays on his meds… hope everything works out for him….

      I’m off to the thrift stores…… size fourteen low cut army boots, WIDE !!!