Onion disses Fort Lauderdale

    Our town is the butt of a warped joke in the online satirical newspaper The Onion.

     The front page article is entitled “Obama speechwriters unsure how they’d praise Fort Lauderdale in event of tragedy”.

     First off, these so-called speechwriters for a suspected  Kenyan/ Communist have some nerve! And can anyone name even one speech they wrote that hit the charts? ..OK, but can you name two?

                             

     The article basically calls our City a big lump of nothin, devoid of soul, overrun by yachts!

     It’s apparent that they just don’t get us.

     The writers live in D.C., and granted, they have a lot of cool things there, but they also a lot of murders! Sure, if you grow up in D.C., you get bored with all the field trips to the Smithsonians, the Congress, and the White House.

     But do they have Butterfly World?

                                            

     They go on to ridicule us for having Fireworks stands, strip malls, retirement homes, sunburned tourists, and drunk spring breakers. So what’s your point guys?

     And we have a lot of things that D.C. doesn’t – try motoring down Pennsylvania Ave. in this Mr. Big Shot writers –

                                             

     Got ’em there huh?

     Add to that our Everglades tours, horse racing, dog racing, car racing,  jai alai, Flamingo Gardens and the Funderdome, and I think they get the picture!

     Most ridiculously, they accuse Fort Lauderdale of not having a “unique identity”.

     Are you kidding me? We’ve been trying to get rid of our “unique identity” for years! Ever heard of Connie Francis!

                                    

     
    
Lastly, the know-it-all writers say we lack “inspiring local figures” I don’t know about inspiring figures, but we certainly don’t lack in colorful local figures”!

                                        
                                            resident Nick Nolte

     Do the names Naugle, the late Rev. Kennedy, Kathy Willets, Bob Cox, Earl Rynerson ring a bell?

      Enough of this defending ourselves. The old adage – a picture paints a thousands words – will suffice –